what hurts the most
by flaming-applepie
Summary: Sakura dies, Sasuke tries to cope. will be rewritten!


**Sasusaku - What Hurts The Most **

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

- - -

standing in front of the white coffin with a single white rose in his hand, Sasuke gave his last goodbye to the barely twenty years old woman.

Taking a deep breath, he placed the flower beside her, trying to hold back his tears.

He had lost his whole life in just a minute, only a few seconds he looked away from her.

Only taking his eyes away from her petite form for a tiny moment.

He felt so angry, pained, sad, empty.

Why didn't she protect herself? Why couldn't she stay away when it was supposed to be his fight?

Kneeling down beside her, he placed one of his warm hands on top of hers, feeling the cold skin beneath his fingertips.

«I'm so sorry...» he choked and bend his head, not wanting anyone to see him cry.

«I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you that I loved you every single day we spend together... I'm sorry for not giving you enough attention... I'm sorry for all the things that I did wrong, or didn't do» he continued, gripping her hand tighter, feeling the delicate piece of gold around her ringfinger.

The Uchiga prodigy looked up when someone touched his shoulder, then quickly looked away again, trying to hide his tears.

«come on, Sasuke,» Naruto started, and a hand gripped his arm, «other peoples are waiting to say goodbye too»

Nodding, Sasuke let the blonde help him up, them embraced him in a thight hug.

«I miss her» he cried, staining his best friends shirt with his tears, shaking his head.

«I miss her so fucking much»

- - -  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me

- - -

time passed quickly, and soon, almost a year had passed.

Sasuke did his best not to think too much about her, trying not to recal every good memory he had of her.

He remembered them all, too well.

Every time she would just sit down on his lap and fall asleep, wanting him to hold her.

Every time she would comfort him, and tell everything would be ok after he had another nightmare.

Every time she would kiss him after he came home from training or missions.

Every time she would tell him she loved him, just becaise she waned him to know.

But that would never happen again, so he had to pretend that it never happend, pretend that she had never existed.

He needed to pretend that he was fine...

- - -  
What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do

- - -

lying alone in his bed, he wanted nothing more than to hold her, and whisper small nonsens into her ear, words that ment nothing.

He cursed loudly when he felt the crystal liquid falling from his eyes again.

no... he had to stop!

After another sleeples night, he sat down at his usual spot at the kitchentable with two cups of coffe. The other always reminded untouched at the place vica verca him.

Drinking the steamy hot liquid, he continuing staring at the door, hoping she would burst through it any momet; telling him everything was a joke.

It never happend though...

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

- - -

It took a while before he could face his friends again.

He knew it would jurt feel even worse, knowing they secretly blamed him for her death.

«hey, Sasuke. How are you doing?» Naruto asked, sitting down beside the darkhaired man.

«better than a month ago»he sighed, giving the foxboy a pleading look.

«I miss her too... so much» he replied, wrapping both arms around his best friend.

«but we have to move on. We can't sit here and wait for her to return... she wount!»

«I know... but it isn't easy» he breathed and closed his eyes, letting the blonde comforting him.

At least for a while...

- - -  
Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken

- - -

one year and three months after she left his life, he could no longer take care of himself.

The lack of sleep and food made him so sick that me had to be send to the hospital.

It was Naruto that found him, sitting alone, shaking in one corner of the bathroom, holding her pillow up to cover his face.

He was so thin that his ribs were clearly visible through his t-shirt, marks under his eyes from countless wake minutes of crying.

At first he just got worse, his skin turning pale, almost blue, and his body just broke down, no longer beng able to suport him.

But they did manage to save him, and this time, maybe this time, he would be ok.

What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do

- - -

walking back and forth in the hospital hallway, Naruto muttered curses under his berath.

It was impossible to relax... just the thought of his best friend, alone, dying in the rook next to him.

«he lives...» Tsunade's voice suddenly came from behind him. Turning around, the blonde ninja gace her a smile, holding his thumbs up.

«Sasuke's gonna be fine. Dattebyo!» he grinned, punching the air.

«I'm sorry Naruto... but he's not...» she whispered, bowing her head.

«w-what do you mean? I thought you just s-» he started, but stopped when she held up a hand.

«I've never... seen someone cope so bad with a loss before. If he do get sick again, I wount save him. He doesn't deserve to live with this pain. It's a reason that his body can't support him anymore... if I were you, I would go to him now. It may be the last time»

- - -  
What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do

- - -

Sasuke never made it through the night...

- - -  
Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do

- - -

«Sasuke was... my best friend. He was a great man, friend, and fiance.

I can't even describe how much it hurts to loose both my best friens in barely a year. It's painfull, but I don't want to forget anything we did together.

I know that... nom of them would want any of us to break down, or give up just because they're not here anymore... Sakura would never want that...

and I bet that whenever they are now,» Naruto took a little break and chickled helfheartidly before continuing, « I know that Sakura's halfway through scolding him for dying too.

This day... we are going to... sorry, just a moment»

taking a deep breath, Naruto wiped away his tears and opened his mouth to speak again.

«this day is... non of us are going to forget today....

this day is for Sakura and Sasuke, so go out and have fun tonight... because I know they wouldn't want you to sit home and cry»

- - - - - -

Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do

- - -


End file.
